Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Accidental Pictures Can Be the Best
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Conversation With A Friend
A little background info: I met a person on another website a year or two ago and we really connected. We lost contact and she found me on a different website about a week ago. This is an exchange of messages between the two of us, after I had sent her a message to tell her that my husband of over 40 years had recently passed away. Some of the details are slighty changed to protect her identity; I will call her Sara (not her real name).
From Sara:
Mon, Jul 19
First and foremost, I am sooo very sorry to hear this Sandy. Truly.. I too am a widow. 8 years this month.
You are a strong and loving woman. I can feel that. So you are helping the children and grand children with their pain and numbing yours. You are not alone, my friend. I share that pain with you. Even today it still hurts, but I can’t help but find solace in the fact that he was MY husband, chose ME for his wife and loved ME as well as the kids. We were blessed and it’s a blessing that will always stay with you. I send you a big hug and all my positive vibes and love to you and your family, my Dear.
It's really great that we've crossed paths again. :))
Sara
Hi Sara
I'm also sorry to hear that you lost your husband. I knew you were single, but didn't remember your circumstances. I think time helps a little, but I don't think the hurt and loss ever goes completely away.
Wow, what you said about your hubby is exactly how I felt about mine. He told me many times that if I wasn't happy, he wasn't happy, because he wanted me and the kids to be happy. During some rocky times he even said that if I would be happier split up, he would do that just to make me happy. I reassured him that I was just going thru some 'grouchy' stuff and I didn't want to split. He was my rock & he put me on a pedestal. When we first got married, I was going to call in sick one day; he wouldn't let me. Said that it was dishonest and businesses are hurt by that. I think he was training himself for management even then.
I do feel that I am a strong woman; he knew he would go first, just not as soon as he did. He always told me to take care of the kids and grandkids and to live my life. Even said he would understand if I wanted to get married again. I haven't really thought about that much; I don't know if I could...
I am very happy that we crossed paths again, Sara! You are a really neat lady & if I was there, I would give you a great big hug! This sounds crazy, but I think reading what you wrote and writing back to you has put me in a new stage of grief. Ever cried happy tears? I'm sure you have... that's kind of how I feel right now. Not really crying, but my eyes are watering... well maybe I AM crying a bit. It feels good tho. Really good!
I've been blogging & I was wondering if you would mind if I put your letter and my response in my blog? The only people that see it are my friends on BlogSpot & I would change any info that may identify you. If you don't want me to, I would totally understand.
Thanks so much for being my friend!
Love, Sandy
From Sara:
Tue, Jul 20 2010
HI! I have to say that when I read your message earlier, I was so touched and I’m not gonna deny was in tears. Again, good ones for I felt I connected with you and that was my intention. No it never really goes away. The pain of loss that it but how could it when we love so deeply. It does help to know we're not alone. Thank you. By all means feel free to blog what you like. We can only hope it touches someone else who needs it. I’m so glad too that you understand what I wanted to convey. Where do you blog? I’d like to start doing it. May be good for me too. I used to write a lot and it’s been hard to in last few years.. Sorry for my late reply. I’m a bit slow on mobile phone. Only use laptop when my daughter brings her by.
Much luv to you always,
Sara
Hi Sara
That's what I was thinking, that it feels good to connect with someone that's in the same boat. It's nice to think about other people and know that we are not alone, that other people are going thru similar things that I am and that we can help each other by talking about it. I try not to feel sorry for myself and think about what other people are going thru; I know that many people are much worse off than I am.
Yes, I was crying when I wrote it, too.
Here's a link to my blog:
http://carsonsgma.blogspot.com/
Feel free to join and add me as a friend. If you want to use our conversations in a blog, feel free. Be sure & read my story, "A Rock in my Shoe," it's a really cool example of Karma working in a good way, something that happened to me. I've been blogging since June 17.
Take care, dear friend!
Love, Sandy
From Sara:
Mon, Jul 19
First and foremost, I am sooo very sorry to hear this Sandy. Truly.. I too am a widow. 8 years this month.
You are a strong and loving woman. I can feel that. So you are helping the children and grand children with their pain and numbing yours. You are not alone, my friend. I share that pain with you. Even today it still hurts, but I can’t help but find solace in the fact that he was MY husband, chose ME for his wife and loved ME as well as the kids. We were blessed and it’s a blessing that will always stay with you. I send you a big hug and all my positive vibes and love to you and your family, my Dear.
It's really great that we've crossed paths again. :))
Sara
Hi Sara
I'm also sorry to hear that you lost your husband. I knew you were single, but didn't remember your circumstances. I think time helps a little, but I don't think the hurt and loss ever goes completely away.
Wow, what you said about your hubby is exactly how I felt about mine. He told me many times that if I wasn't happy, he wasn't happy, because he wanted me and the kids to be happy. During some rocky times he even said that if I would be happier split up, he would do that just to make me happy. I reassured him that I was just going thru some 'grouchy' stuff and I didn't want to split. He was my rock & he put me on a pedestal. When we first got married, I was going to call in sick one day; he wouldn't let me. Said that it was dishonest and businesses are hurt by that. I think he was training himself for management even then.
I do feel that I am a strong woman; he knew he would go first, just not as soon as he did. He always told me to take care of the kids and grandkids and to live my life. Even said he would understand if I wanted to get married again. I haven't really thought about that much; I don't know if I could...
I am very happy that we crossed paths again, Sara! You are a really neat lady & if I was there, I would give you a great big hug! This sounds crazy, but I think reading what you wrote and writing back to you has put me in a new stage of grief. Ever cried happy tears? I'm sure you have... that's kind of how I feel right now. Not really crying, but my eyes are watering... well maybe I AM crying a bit. It feels good tho. Really good!
I've been blogging & I was wondering if you would mind if I put your letter and my response in my blog? The only people that see it are my friends on BlogSpot & I would change any info that may identify you. If you don't want me to, I would totally understand.
Thanks so much for being my friend!
Love, Sandy
From Sara:
Tue, Jul 20 2010
HI! I have to say that when I read your message earlier, I was so touched and I’m not gonna deny was in tears. Again, good ones for I felt I connected with you and that was my intention. No it never really goes away. The pain of loss that it but how could it when we love so deeply. It does help to know we're not alone. Thank you. By all means feel free to blog what you like. We can only hope it touches someone else who needs it. I’m so glad too that you understand what I wanted to convey. Where do you blog? I’d like to start doing it. May be good for me too. I used to write a lot and it’s been hard to in last few years.. Sorry for my late reply. I’m a bit slow on mobile phone. Only use laptop when my daughter brings her by.
Much luv to you always,
Sara
Hi Sara
That's what I was thinking, that it feels good to connect with someone that's in the same boat. It's nice to think about other people and know that we are not alone, that other people are going thru similar things that I am and that we can help each other by talking about it. I try not to feel sorry for myself and think about what other people are going thru; I know that many people are much worse off than I am.
Yes, I was crying when I wrote it, too.
Here's a link to my blog:
http://carsonsgma.blogspot.com/
Feel free to join and add me as a friend. If you want to use our conversations in a blog, feel free. Be sure & read my story, "A Rock in my Shoe," it's a really cool example of Karma working in a good way, something that happened to me. I've been blogging since June 17.
Take care, dear friend!
Love, Sandy
Friday, July 16, 2010
Doesn't Matter
I'm guessing it really doesn't matter what I write in my blog. No one comments anyway. Have a great week end...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Grrrrrrrrr!
Trust me, I am not stuck on myself! I accidently 'followed' myself and now I can't delete myself as a follower...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Fireworks at "The Lake"
Got thru another 'first,' the first Independence Day without my Hubby.
We used to sit outside at "The Lake," on the beach and watch the fireworks on 'the other point.' In earlier years, with Randy's Mom and Dad and our daughters. In later years, with our daughters and the two oldest daughters' kids, our grand kids.
Once, when our two oldest daughters were very young, we took the boat and parked (in the water) near where the fireworks are launched. Each boat is about three feet apart and it's quite a zoo. That was the first and only time for that!
Heather and I watched the fireworks from our Lake neighbors' patio this year. Our neighbors are my son-in-law's parents, so we take turns hanging out. As you can see, the fireworks are awesome when reflected on the water!
Another 'first' is behind us...
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